


The Reception

by sonofthanatos



Category: South Park
Genre: Dancing, Fluff and Humor, Love, M/M, Post-Wedding, Speeches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:20:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23856754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonofthanatos/pseuds/sonofthanatos
Summary: Tweek and Craig's wedding reception!
Relationships: Clyde Donovan/Bebe Stevens, Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 18
Kudos: 93





	The Reception

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Thistlepaw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thistlepaw/gifts).



Jimmy gritted his teeth as Clyde helped him sit down. He hated the perception that he couldn't handle himself, but with the space constraints they hadn't had a choice; he would have to sit behind the podium for the speeches. It was going to be too tricky moving him around constantly, so he had to sit in a chair until they were done. He looked around approvingly; the Hilton ballroom looked beautiful. The best part was people could just go upstairs to their rooms at the end, rather than having to drive home; they could drink as much as they wanted.

With Jimmy finally settled, Clyde put the crutches against the wall, then took his seat next to Token. Jimmy swiveled in his chair experimentally then patted the microphone to make sure it was on. 

"Hey everybody! W-w-We're going to get staaaarted in a few minutes, if you all want to find your seats." The Tweaks and Tuckers, including Craig's grandma and Tricia, sat around one table, and Jimmy's parents and the Blacks sat with Roger Donovan.

Token and Clyde sat in their suits with Nichole and Bebe, and Jimmy's spot was of course empty. At last he looked at the head table; two empty chairs stood behind it, and behind it sat Stripe in his cage. He shook his head fondly; Tweek had fought long and hard to keep Craig from making Stripe his best man, and this was their compromise.

On cue, the wedding coordinator at the door nodded to him and he cleared his throat importantly. "Ladies and gentleman, please g-g-give it up for our grooms. For the first time ever, Craig and T-t-t-t...Craig and Tweek Tuuuucker!"

The crowd burst into applause as the new husbands entered the room. Tweek was grinning widely, his blond hair miraculously more or less still in place. Craig was smiling broadly, which was stunning enough on its own. He held Tweek's hand in his own, and his dark hair and suit stood in contrast to his new husband. They waved and smiled at everybody as they made their way to the small table centered in the room, Stripe sitting on top in his cage. The little guinea pig was nibbling contentedly on a toy as he watched his owners make their way forward.

Jimmy watched with wonder as his friends sat down side by side, still holding hands. Craig was as animated as they had ever seen him, his face lit up and his eyes sparkling underneath his dark hair. For the first time in years he had agreed to go bareheaded; his hat lay upstairs in the honeymoon suite. 

He let the applause die out, then took the microphone again. "Before we get started, we're going to d-d-d-dooooo the speeches, so people sitting near Clyde may want to hide his silverware before he gets impatient a-a-and eats you." A ripple of laughter went through the room. "First up, we have Tweek's father. Give it up for Richard Tweak, everybody!" 

Jimmy glanced at Tweek as Richard approached the other microphone. They had carefully worked out signals; Tweek had been in a frenzy because "It's my dad! GAH! ANYTHING could come out of his mouth! What if he starts talking about giving me the sex talk, or, OH JESUS, HIS OWN WEDDING NIGHT?" If Tweek sneezed three times, that was the signal to try to get Richard off the stage, and if Tweek tore his napkin in half that meant "say there's an emergency and evacuate the building!" They had decided to put him first just to get it over with, like taking off a band-aid.

Richard raised the microphone and cleared his throat. "Good evening everybody, I'm Richard Tweak. You know, I once worked with a woman who drank tea every day, and even 30 years later I can't forgive her for the way she made it. She would take three, yes, THREE tea bags, put them in a mug, fill it with cold water, MICROWAVE this thing, then drink it all morning without taking the tea bags out. 30 years later and I still want to hunt her down and strangle her for forcing me to witness that...atrocity. Any DECENT barista would know that you have to boil the water properly in a kettle, pour one cup of water into your teacup, let it steep for exactly 2 minutes, remove the bag, add 10 ml of cream, NOT milk, and let it sit for exactly 6 minutes to cool properly. What this woman did was an insult to caffeine everywhere, and it's why to this day I cannot drink tea. Interestingly, there's actually an international standard on how to brew the perfect cup of tea, but they say you should put the milk in first and that goes against nature."

Jimmy stared uncomprehendingly at the man. Tweek looked mortified, Craig looked like he was tempted to escape out a side door, and their guests were torn between polite interest, total confusion, and mild amusement. Token was nodding politely, Nichole and Bebe looked confused, and Clyde was shaking from the effort of not laughing hysterically. 

Richard suddenly looked more serious. "You're probably wondering why I told you that. It's total nonsense and had nothing to do with what we're all doing here. But you know what? That's me. I'm a ridiculous man who lives with his head in the clouds who tells pointless stories that don't go anywhere. When that story occurred, I was newly married and a barista at a coffee shop, and my goal was to someday meditate on the top of Mount Kilamanjaro. But of course I'd need a special license, plus there'd be no way to keep the candles lit and the incense wouldn't work. The fresh air would be lovely though, right up until the hypothermia killed me.

"Then Helen told me she was pregnant. That was the single most important moment of my life, and it absolutely redefined me. It made me finally grow up and get involved with the real world. Together we put aside nonsensical ideas and got a loan to open our very own coffee shop. As a team, we opened the store, we made our own recipes, and for the first time ever I really felt like an adult.

"When Tweek was born...he was our world. He was the greatest achievement of my life. Of both our lives." He smiled down at Helen. "He was the first little kid in our friend group and the first nephew and grandchild; he was the center of our family. His uncles adored him, his grandparents spoiled him, and he was our pride and joy. I loved having him around me; he used to complain that I made him work at the coffee shop, but the truth is that I just enjoyed having him nearby. I was a better man when he was around. I was a father.

"When he told me he was gay I was so happy because he just came out with it. He didn't try to hide it and he wasn't scared. He knew that no matter what we loved him unconditionally. To me, that was the ultimate success story; my son knew he was loved. When we met Craig, we saw how much he cared about Tweek, and that was all we needed to know.

"Tweek is the heart of our family, the greatest thing Helen and I ever accomplished. I'm telling you this because Craig, I want you to understand the full significance of what I'm about to say." Richard paused, then spoke clearly and directly, "You deserve him."

Utter silence reigned in the room. Jimmy couldn't take his eyes off Richard.

"I want you to know that we don’t feel like we're losing a son, we're gaining one. We always knew Tweek would move on someday, and I'm so happy it's with you. Somebody he loves who loves him in turn. Welcome to the family, son."

Jimmy felt his throat constrict; his vision blurred and he brushed the tears from his eyes. He glanced around: Tweek was sobbing openly and clinging to Craig, who was dabbing at his own eyes; Clyde and Bebe were bawling together, Token and Nichole were holding hands and staring with emotion.

Richard smiled in memory. "You know, I remember when Tweek was six and...heeeeee...." his voice trailed off as he stared around the room. "Helen, we need more coffee, we're losing them!" 

"Oh Richard..." Helen sobbed, dabbing at her eyes and smearing her mascara with a tissue.

Tweek, crying uncontrollably, raced up and hugged his dad tightly. Richard blinked in surprise and hugged him in return, rubbing his back soothingly. Craig hesitated, then stepped up and hugged Richard too. Helen threw her arms around them all as everybody applauded.

As the clapping died down and people got themselves under control, Richard apparently decided to leave it on a high note. "To Tweek and Craig!"

They all raised their glasses and drank.

As Richard sat down, Jimmy cleared his throat, trying to choke down all the emotions that had unexpectedly welled up inside him. "N-n-next is Craig's father, Thomas. Let's hear it for Father Tucker!"

Thomas strode forward, his balding head shining under the lights. "First of all, I'd like to mention that Craig told me 'Just say whatever, you're going after Richard so just keep it simple and you're fine.' So Craig? Thanks for that." He flipped Craig off, and Craig responded right back. It was the perfect opening to get them back on track as everybody chuckled.

"I'm a man of few words, so I'm just going to say that I'm so proud of my son, married to his own wonderful blonde." He grinned down at his wife as Craig rolled his eyes. "He's been a little ray of bitter sunshine over the years; I've lost count of the number of times I had to go to meetings with his principals and school councilors. I always remember when he was 5 and going into Kindergarten, I didn't like his teacher and made the mistake of saying so in front of him. His first day of school EVER, he walks up to the teacher; she smiles at him and asks his name." Thomas paused for a moment, letting the anticipation build. "'My name's Craig Tucker. My dad says you're a bitch.' I never lived that one down!"

The crowd roared with laughter. Craig just smirked.

"When we first met Tweek, I admit I wasn't as supportive as I could have been. But I knew that my main job was to love my son, and over the years I've grown to love Tweek just as much. Especially when I realized he's the only person in the world who can control Craig. Welcome to the family, Tweek." Smiling, he flipped off his new son-in-law. Tweek flipped him back off, giggling. Craig smiled proudly.

Everybody applauded; Thomas hesitated, then went over to hug the grooms; they both hugged him back tight. Laura was smiling warmly.

Jimmy waited until all the laughter had died down, and Thomas had found his seat again. "Now w-w-w-w...Now weeee're going to hear from the t-t-true love of T-t-tweek's life." Craig looked at him in confusion, as did the others; Craig wasn't going until the end. "The man he was meant to be with, his s-s-s-soul mate. Ladies and gentleman, Tweek's b-best friend, C-c-clyde Donovaaaan!"

Craig's face relaxed into his usual indifference as he flipped Jimmy off. Tweek leaned into Craig laughing as Clyde swaggered up, grinning broadly. "Thanks Jimmy. We all know that Tweek would leave Craig in a heartbeat if I was gay, but I couldn't do that to Craig." He winked at Tweek, who grinned back at him.

"I've been friends with Craig for years, ever since we had to share a desk in Grade 1. He used to get mad at me because I'd talk about cartoons and football, but then one day I asked him what was on his notebook. It was the planet Jupiter, and he wouldn't stop talking about it! I had to listen to him go on and on about the Great Red Spot, and the Little Red Spot, and how when storms appear they're white but when they get together they turn red, and on and on and on! I asked him what it would be like to walk on it and he looked at me like I was an idiot and started talking about storms again. We've been best friends ever since.

"The first time I even heard of Tweek was in third grade. He was in the height of his ADHD issues at that point and twitched and groaned all the time, so we all knew who he was. These jerks we had in class decided to make him and Craig fight. Craig was the toughest in our group, so we kept telling him, 'Don't hurt Tweek too badly. Knock him down and that's it, don't hurt him.' The day of the fight came and..." Clyde paused dramatically, then spoke again with a gleeful voice. "TWEEK. KICKED. CRAIG'S. ASS!!!!"

"It was a tie!" Craig's voice rang out. More laughter rang out, and Tricia booed her brother. Bebe and Nichole joined her.

"You lost fair and square!" Token called out. 

"Twenty y-y-y-years later, he still hasn't gotten over losing that ff-f-first fight." Jimmy joked.

Clyde grinned. "If anybody else got beat up by Tweek, it would be humiliating and painful. For Craig, it was love at first punch. No matter how many times he claims it was a slow process or he can't say when it happened, when he fell to the ground with a bloody nose, THAT was the moment he fell in love with Tweek. We brought Tweek into our circle after that, and he and Craig became closer and closer. For some time Token, Jimmy and I all thought Craig was preparing for a rematch; we didn't see it coming when they started dating. Over the years, I got to be close with Tweek too; in fact, he once got me out of the tightest pants in the world in the middle of the mall!" He winked at Tweek again; Craig shook his head fondly. "It was Craig's birthday; Tweek couldn't find a present so he and I went shopping. I tried on these really tight leather pants, because I'm an idiot, and Tweek had to peel them off me in the dressing room! I still remember him all red faced on his knees while he struggled to pull my pants down; I just kept thinking 'I can't wait to tease Craig about this!' I was so happy to be free I just hugged Tweek right there without even putting pants on again!" The laughter was incredibly loud at this point. "From hugging each other whenever we needed cheering up to helping me tease and prank Craig, he and I became best friends over the years. I even helped Tweek throw Craig in the lake fully clothed once!"

Clyde was totally in his element, teasing his friends and being the center of attention. Jimmy was actually getting jealous of how much laughter Clyde was generating.

Token was crying from laughing so hard, while Nichole and Bebe were laughing and holding tissues to their eyes to save their makeup. Richard had actually fallen out of his chair laughing while Helen tried to help him up, and Thomas and Laura were laughing into each others shoulders! Tweek and Craig were both roaring with laughter at the memory, and Jimmy noticed through his own hysteria that Clyde had lit up after making Craig laugh insanely. Even Craig's grandma was laughing at the table, Tricia cracking up next to her.

Clyde enjoyed the reactions for a few minutes; when it started to calm down again, he continued.

"Craig has a reputation for being a robot: cold, emotionless, heartless. You really have to know Craig to appreciate him; he's a true friend. I remember when my mom died - he was just there for me. He's one of the best, most honest and trustworthy people I know, and I'm so thrilled that two of my best friends are husbands now. I love you both so much."

He raised his glass.

"To Tweek and Craig!"

As soon as people drank they clapped and cheered. The applause thundered through the room; Clyde stopped by the head table to hug the grooms, then sat back down at his table, obviously enjoying the attention. Token and the others all congratulated him on his speech.

Jimmy shook his head fondly; the best thing about Clyde was that he wasn't afraid to look like a fool for other people. He leaned into his microphone again. 

"And now, we have C-c-c-craig's best man, the ooooonly person I've ever known whose childhood dream career was 'lion', Token B-b-b-b-Token Blaaaack!"

More laughter and applause as Token stood up and took the stage; unlike Clyde and Jimmy, he already owned a tuxedo and looked far more comfortable in it than either of them. With a glass of champagne in one hand and his notes in the other, he looked for all the world like a movie star giving a speech at some fancy charity dinner.

"Thanks everybody. As most of you know, I moved to South Park when I was 10. Most of the kids I knew before then were these spoiled, stuck up kids that only talked about money, and I couldn't stand them. On my first day here, I went to look around the neighborhood and starting walking around South Park. Suddenly, I felt somebody staring, so I turned around, and there was this kid in a blue hat watching me through the bushes!" A few people chuckled. "He got out and this brown haired kid followed, and I was waiting for them to either ask me 'how much does your dad make' or 'do black kids use toilets?'. Instead, they asked if I wanted to play basketball! They were the first friends I ever made that didn't care about money, and I had so much fun that day.

"Later that night, my dad had a dinner party to show off the house to some business associates. I was stuck at the kids' table, listening to the other kids talk about 'being firm with their daddies' and needing 'a bigger swimming pool'." Nobody could put scorn into something like Token. "I'm sitting there in a suit and tie, totally bored, when I get a text from Craig saying, 'Dude, we're going to play Harry Potter. Grab a stick to use as a wand.' There was nothing I'd rather do than ditch the party and go play Harry Potter, but how was I supposed to do that? While I was trying to figure that out, I got another text. This one was from Clyde, and he said 'I got a bag of marshmallows! We can roast them afterwards! I bet you I can fit more in my mouth at once than you!' and that was it. I excused myself for a minute and ran up to my room. Then, I threw my suit aside, grabbed some regular clothes, climbed out my window and snuck down the drainage pipe!" More laughter. 

"Over the years, I learned that Craig is slow to bring people into his inner circle, but once you're there you're his friend for life and he'll back you up no matter what. I think my favorite thing about Craig is his understated sense of humor. He's not somebody who tells lots of jokes, but when he does he does it in the most deadpan way so you can't even tell if he's serious or not." Token grinned at Jimmy. "A few years ago we were hanging out at the mall and Jimmy sees this girl there reading a book on art history at the food court. He starts talking to her, and she goes on about her favourite paintings. For some reason, Jimmy decides to tell her that he's a painter!" The audience chuckled. "He starts talking about it, and then for some reason decideds to start channeling Tweek's dad and started talking about 'the voice of nature' and 'echoes of the past', and it gets crazier and crazier until he finally starts talking about being the reincarnation of Vincent Van Gogh!" Jimmy just laughed along with the crowd; shame was a foreign feeling to him. They could hear Clyde laughing obnoxiously loudly at the memory. "This poor girl is edging away, trying to make exuses, and Jimmy is frantically talking about his ear being cut off. Finally, she's sitting right on the edge of the booth trying to flee, and Jimmy, out of total desperation, looks over and shouts out: 'Craig, tell her it's true!'" Token paused for effect, letting the laughter and anticipation build, then continued. "Craig doesn't even look up from his food, he just keeps eating and says in the most deadpan voice he can, 'Yeah. I used to be Pablo Picasso.'" The entire crowd roared with laughter. "The poor girl faked a phone call at that point and booked it!"

The entire crowd was roaring with laughter. Tweek was shaking and had his face buried in Craig's shoulder, and though the noirette wasn't laughing his eyes sparkled with amusement at the memory. Richard Tweak was hysterical with laughter, choking on his water, and Thomas Tucker reached over and hit his back.

Token let the laughter die down and people get under control again before he continued. "Craig was one of the first real friends I ever made, and more and more I began to appreciate how solid Craig was, how dependable. No matter what, Craig was always there for me. Sometimes when one of us was stressed out, we'd go to the other and just sit there and read together. One day, I opened the door and found Craig more worked up than I'd ever seen him. I didn't say a word, I just pulled him into my room and handed him Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince while I grabbed Goblet of Fire. We sat there and just read quietly for a couple of hours, then somehow we both looked up and put our books down at the same time. He took a deep breath, looked me in the eye, and told me, 'Dude, Tweek and I kissed today.' I never saw that one coming! But I knew that Craig had been struggling with something for a while, and I was just glad he was finally out and happy.

"Tweek, you help Craig open up. You're the one who broke down his barriers and helped him come to terms with who he is. I've seen how good you are for him, and how much you care about each other, and you're like a spazzy little brother to me now."

"Hey!" Tweek protested. Ripples of laughter went through the room. Token grinned back at him.

"I'm so happy that the two of you found each other. So please, everybody, join me and raise a glass." Everybody raised their glasses on cue. "To the best friends anybody could ask for. To Tweek and Craig!"

Applause thundered through the hall as Token finished. He put his glass down and went over to the table to hug the two grooms, then returned to his seat.

Jimmy smiled. "A-a-a-a-Almost there, Clyde. Try not to eat anybody yet." 

"No promises!" Clyde grinned back at him.

"For our final speeches of the night, the men of the hour, our grooms! Give it up for the newly named Tweek Tucker!"

Everybody applauded as Tweek got up and nervously approached the stage. He took the microphone as though it was a mouse trap. "Hi everybody! Thanks for coming to our wedding, and thanks to our friends and parents for those great speeches. It really meant a lot to us both, knowing how much support we have from everybody." His eyes started to tear up. "I never...I always was so anxious, I never thought that..." his voice rose and quavered. "I never thought I'd lucky enough...enough to..." As the tears fell Craig hurried forward. "I can do this!" Tweek protested weakly, clinging to Craig as the taller man rubbed his back. After a moment, Tweek was under control enough to speak again, but he still held Craig's hand. "I never thought I'd be lucky enough to have such great friends, let alone marry the best...best guy ever!" He buried his face in Craig's suit again for a few moments before coming back. "I love you all so much, and it means so much that you're here for...for us. Thank you all!" He wailed before losing control again. Everybody applauded him as he cried. Craig looked at the microphone, then at everybody, and shrugged and leaned forward.

"What he said."

After a moment of shock, laughter rang out. Tricia booed her brother again, and even Tweek punched his arm, laughing through his tears.

"Seriously, thank you all for coming. It means so much to my husband and I." The crowd applauded. 

Suddenly, Tricia's voice rang out. "Kiss him!"

To everybody's surprise, Craig shrugged and wrapped his arms around Tweek, kissing him deeply. Clyde and Jimmy wolf-whistled as the crowd applauded wildly. Craig let go after a minute and Tweek's face was bright red, but he was smiling.

Craig grinned and took Tweek back to the table. 

The food was amazing, and the cake was better; Jimmy joked that they needed warning signs declaring a hazardous area anywhere between Clyde and the food. Craig and Tweek cut the cake together, and Tweek made a show of feeding a piece to Craig. Craig responded by surprising Tweek with a kiss, even though his mouth was full of cake. Tweek shrieked and giggled, blushing hard.

Once they could talk again, the new husbands looked around the room. Craig slid over so he was pressed against Tweek and whispered into his ear. "Wow, have they even redecorated since Cartman tried to burn us all to death in here?" 

"Shhh, honey." Tweek giggled. It was so exciting to see Craig smiling and joking, he never wanted the day to end.

Once they were all fed and happy, the dancing started. Craig and Tweek started off dancing to "Today" by Braid Paisley, then they each danced with their moms to "Do I make you proud?" by Taylor Hicks. With those out of the way, the crowd poured onto the floor.

The guys were all together and talking when the DJ suddenly spoke up. "Alright, guys and girls, our next dance is a wedding classic, so grab your partners and hit the floor...unless you're CHICKEN!" Clyde lit up like a tree and he and Token hurried to the floor, stopping just long enough to grab their girlfriends. Jimmy sat nearby, immediately pulling out his cell phone and setting up the camera.

The Tweaks materialized in front of the grooms, with the Tuckers right behind them. "Come on guys, time to chicken dance!" Richard announced. Tweek jumped up, to everybody's surprise, but Craig shook his head.

"I don't really dance."

"Yes you do." Richard Tweak said calmly. "Let's go, son!"

"Come on, loser! Don't make us drag you out there!" Tricia complained.

"You know you can't actually make me do this, right?" Craig pointed out.

Helen Tweak's smile was almost wolfish. "Oh Craig, how you underestimate us." She leaned forward like a predator preparing to attack. "See, we're not just these random weirdos you have to be nice to once in a while, we're your in-laws." Craig's eyes widened; somehow he hadn't really considered the implications of the Tweaks becoming family. "So, you can either do this now, or listen to us complain about it to Tweek, who will complain about it to you, at every Christmas, every Thanksgiving, every anniversary until we're in our graves. And then, Tweek will feel guilty about it until you're old and in a nursing home."

Craig was struck dumb. Laughing, his father and husband grabbed his arms and together the entire group herded him onto the floor.

Jimmy eagerly recorded all his friends as they flapped, squatted and twisted, snickering at the sight. As much as he wished he could join in, this video would live forever; it would embarrass Craig for the rest of his life!

The rest of the night was fantastic; Jimmy ended up dancing with Tricia, while Clyde took great pleasure in stealing Tweek away from Craig and dancing with him while Bebe made Craig dance with her in return.

It was the first wedding for their group, and the bar was set REALLY high for the others.


End file.
